If your relationship has taken a lot of hard knocks for some time now, how exactly can you stop the madness and learn about healing a broken   relationship?

Broken or damaged relationships don't just  happen.  It takes work to hurt and damage what was once a great union between two great people. 
You may not consciously realize what you're doing to damage the relationship, but what you say and do or in some cases, don't do, can break down even the strongest of relationships over time.

It's easy to feel the space growing larger between the two of you.  You can feel the cold and
empty space where you once found it to be so easy to just be with each other.  Whether there's an increase in arguments, silence, separation or just a feeling of something not being

Once you start having issues with your mate, you may move on without having completely resolved the issues. It's kind of left hanging out there in the back of your mind.  

For example, a fight or disagreement may not have turned out the way you needed it to.  Maybe you feel like your man didn't care about your feelings, or didn't really hear what you were saying about how much the issue bothered you.  Maybe you feel like you're getting no support.  Maybe you feel like he really doesn't get you or even care about trying to make you happy.  

So the resentment begins. 

You may just tell yourself to let it go and move on.  

Even though you think you've moved on, sometimes hard feelings are more difficult to let go of completely.  The negative thoughts tend to keep coming back over and over again, and
still have strong negative emotions tied to them.

Once you start holding on to past issues because they haven't been completely resolved and start feeling resentment towards your man, the problems can snowball from there. Each time that a similar issue comes up in the future, it brings back all those bad feelings and resentment from the last incident.  This can build and build and become a serious roadblock to maintaining or healing what's becoming a broken relationship.

Most of the time, your guy probably doesn't even know what the problem is.  He doesn't want to bring it up for the fear of setting you off or making you upset, so just tries to go along like nothing is wrong.  He might even ask you if something is wrong, and because you don't want
to bring up something from the past, or let him know how much something really bothered you for fear of him thinking you're over-reacting, you tell him nothing is wrong.  Big mistake.  

In order to heal, you have to talk to him and let him know if something really is bothering you.  At first it might be scary to do this, but once you can learn this very important communication skill, it gets easier.  

Lack of communication is one of the biggest relationship killers.  Open and honest
communication is so important because if you're not able to admit that something is bothering you, then the problem can't ever really be fixed.  Then you both start to hold this silent anger and your actions reflect your true feelings on the inside.  

You might find yourself snapping at your guy, or not talking to him at all.  You are so hurt and don't feel close to him, so intimacy becomes an issue, as well.  You don't want to spend time with him.  You blame him for your unhappiness.

Can you see how not telling your guy how you feel and making him understand how it hurts you can snowball into every single area of your relationship?  Along the way, it kills the love and happiness the two of you once had.

How many times do you wake up one day and say, "What happened?"  You used to be so in love, best friends and were really happy together.  Suddenly, you have all these negative feelings (and so does he) to the point where there's so much emotional baggage, you don't know how or when it happened.  

It takes work to break down a relationship.  We all make mistakes or have regrets in our relationships.  Things we should have done, could have done, could have said, etc. 
Because you can't go back in time and erase those mistakes, you have to start from where you are today, and make better choices about how to handle issues in the future.

The first thing you have to do is decide if you really want to heal the relationship and do the work it will take to turn things around.  This applies to both of you.  If you want to fix things,
but he doesn't seem to be interested, then it might be better to take a break from each other for a while.  You both have to make the commitment to work on the relationship and put each other first.

Which leads us to the next step.  Once you decide the relationship is worth saving, you need to decide to make the commitment to work on the relationship and make it a priority.  

The third step is to sit down and really put all the issues on the table.  Honestly tell each other what you think the problems are, and how certain issues make you feel.  If he's doing something that really hurts you, like criticizing or making you feel like you're not an equal partner in the relationship, tell him how these actions make you feel.  

Approach this heart-to-heart talk with a mindset of being gentle and loving.  If you go into the conversation by pointing out all his faults and letting him know he's wrong about everything, then it's pointless to have the conversation at all.  

There should be no yelling, name calling or accusing, just simply bringing up examples of things that are bothering you and why.  Then the two of you can work out a plan to do things differently or come to a compromise that will work out better for both of you.  If you know how certain things affect your partner, you can make a conscious effort to say or do things in a more positive way.

Depending on how long things have gone on without being corrected, it could take weeks, months or years to fix problems in a relationship.  There are so problems that come from so many different levels. Things as simple as putting the toilet seat down, to infidelity and trust
issues.  Communication, trust and commitment are all things that you're going to need to re-build what you once had.

Take a deep breath, and take things one day at a time.

Healing a broken relationship takes hard work, but it's not impossible to turn things around. 
It would be nice to think that because you love each other, things will just somehow work out.  Unfortunately, that isn't the reality of relationships.  

Remember the steps to being the healing process.  Ask yourself if the relationship is worth saving, and make a commitment to do whatever it takes to turn things around.  Make time to sit down and talk calmly about the issues on both sides, and try to come up with a plan to work on these things.  Do the work.  

With consistent effort and by using better communication skills, you can learn to restore your broken relationship and fall in love all over again.

How many times have you heard about men and commitment issues?  More times than you'd like to count, I'm sure.  

Here's the scenario.  You've spent some time in a relationship, only to have it go nowhere.  After you break up, your guy goes off and gets engaged or married to the very next women he starts to date where you two left off.  

Well, you are not alone. Hasn't this happened to every one of us at least once?  When Harry Met Sally?  If not you personally, then maybe it's happened to a friend.  Somewhere along the way, it's probably going to happen if it hasn't already.

Here's the thing.  You start dating a great guy and after a while, begin to think that he's "the one."  Then time goes on and the relationship doesn't ever seem to move in the direction of securing a commitment from him.  

That's when even more issues come into play.  You start to wonder if the two of you will ever get to the point of a committed relationship.  You don't want to push, and don't want to force him into making a decision or worse yet, giving him an ultimatum.

And while the relationship is OK, somewhere in the back of your mind, you may be thinking that it just doesn't feel completely right.  Or maybe you make excuses for things in the relationship that you wish were different. 

Like, if you hate football and your guy has two big flat screens playing football all day, every day. Or he doesn't ever buy you flowers. Or he doesn't like to do many of the things you'd like to do.  Whatever the things are that you wish were different.  

But you don't really want to face these things and be honest with yourself because while the relationship isn't bad, it's just not the head-over-heels, over-the-moon, can't-live-without-this-guy-type of a relationship.  

Let me tell you that if you are having these kinds of thoughts or little nagging doubts, so is he. So while you might like to blame him for being afraid to commit to you, maybe he just isn't willing to admit that this isn't the relationship he's ready to commit to.  But then again, neither are you.

Sometimes it's easier to just go with what you have and know to be familiar and comfortable.  Who wants to start dating?  Who wants to start all over from scratch?  

The fear of not being able to find another good or even fantastic relationship is just too scary to even think about.  If you've invested years into the relationship, then it's even worse. Let's face it.  Being brutally honest about whether or not this is really the relationship you want
deep down is really hard to do.  I know because I did just that.

If you have your whole future planned out with the guy you're with, it's really hard to look into the future and imagine it with anyone else.  If the two of you are compatible and are relatively happy with each other, it's easy to see why the wrong people end up eventually committing to each other for the wrong reasons.

Let's just say you've been thinking about why your relationship isn't moving forward, or why in your moments of facing your real, deep feelings about the relationship, that you have questions about a committed life together.  

Whether you are having these thoughts consciously or not, don't ignore the thoughts if they are there. Admit that there are things you're not crazy about and whether or not making a commitment with this particular person is really what you want.  Are you just "loving the one you're with" because the thought of starting over terrifies you?  

What if you could see the signs that point to the fact that maybe the two of you aren't as into the relationship as you once thought you were?  By recognizing these signs, you could either make a decision to end the relationship and get started on meeting someone who you can really connect with, or at least not tear yourself up inside when the relationship never really reaches that committed level that you feel way down deep in your heart and soul.

By understanding that there may be someone out there that will make you happier, more in love and commit to you, you'll save yourself a lot of tears, heartache and wondering what's going on in the current relationship that's going nowhere.

At some point in your relationship, you have to bring up what your plans are for the future.  If it means a marriage and children, then you need to get that point across.  You don't want to wait for years to have this conversation, because then you'll probably assume that your hopes and dreams will include your guy.  

Now if your guy isn't interested in any of that, you've got a problem.  You've spent a lot of
your time hoping that he'll pop the question when he really has no intention to do so, and you'll be heartbroken to find out that he isn't willing to commit to you.  

That's not a good position to be in for either your head or your heart.  Better to find out how he feels about things sooner rather than later. Don't approach the subject like a bull in a china shop, but when the time is right, gently bring it up and see what kind of reaction you get from him.

Another thing to keep in mind is how many past relationships your guy has had.  If it's in the double digits, and if you think it'll somehow be different with you, then the sooner you tell him about your thoughts for the future and see how he feels, the better.  

If he just goes from relationship to relationship without really feeling the need to commit to anyone, then you're better to cut your losses and look for someone new who is more than happy to commit to a serious relationship and long-term future.  With you.

If your guy changes the subject or just refuses to talk about the future or your relationship and where it's going, that's another sign that things may not be happily ever after down the road for the two of you.

Learning to identify the signs of whether or not your guy is ready and willing to commit can save you a lot of heartache both now and in the future.  And don't forget that if you find yourself with little nagging issues and questions about him, then you may be just settling for a commitment that's just not right for either of you.

Your guy isn't going to commit to anyone - even you - unless he feels it in his head, in his gut and in his heart.  

Remember that while you constantly hear about men and commitment issues, it could be so much more than it seems.