and more importantly, are you really listening to him?
One of the basic skills you need to master for a strong, committed relationship is how to communicate effectively.
When you have great conversations with your man, you develop an intimate connection with him. You learn what he likes, what he hates and how he feels about everything, including
The best way to start a conversation is to find some common ground. Get the conversation
started by asking him questions about things he likes. Get to really know him by asking more questions and letting what he tells you really soak in. The secret to great conversations is doing more of the listening than talking.
Conversations are also a great way to find out what you may be saying or doing that is preventing the two of you from having great conversations. By paying attention to this information, you can avoid these things in the future in order to have better and more productive conversations.
For example, do you interrupt him? Finish his sentences? Speak for him? Roll your eyes when he talks? Keep checking your watch? Take a call on your cell phone? Argue with him? Always have to be right?
If you listen to what he’s telling you –things that you might not even be aware of - you'll be able to discover what you may be doing to prevent great conversations.
If you are too busy talking or always having to win an argument, you will be missing important things that would come up in conversation that you could use to negotiate compromises to many, many things in your relationship. If you can pick up on his body language and read between the lines to discover things that he might be implying instead of coming right out and saying, it will put you light years ahead in the time it may take to secure a commitment from him.
When a man is talking, he likes it when he knows you're really tuning in and listening. By giving him your attention, you make him feel important and secure in the relationship.
How much more do you think he'll be willing to share with you if he knows that no matter he has to say, you will not laugh at him, judge him or criticize him? The more secure he feels in being able to pour out his heart, soul and dreams to you, the more intimate and connected the two of you can be.
Leave the ego and need to be right all the time at the door when you want to have a great conversation with your man because if you put him in a defensive position every time he's about to open his mouth, he will not want to have a lot of in-depth conversations with you.
Listen with your heart if you want to really get your man to open up. You don't need to have a scheduled, hour long“talk time” every day, but when you do want to talk, it should be easy for your man to actively participate in the conversation.
To have great conversations with your man, don't bring up things that have bothered you in the past. Let the past go. If you keep bringing up past mistakes and arguments, it won't take long for the conversation to go badly and more than likely, end up in yet another argument.
When you have an argument, which all couples do, what you want is to make your point and let him make his, without resorting to name-calling, letting things become heated, making remarks out of anger that can never be taken back, etc.
It seems like it's much easier to talk to each other when the relationship is new and maybe the love goggles are still on. It's after getting more comfortable and you've been together for a while that great conversations seem to get fewer and farther between.
Much like affection, it takes effort to have great conversations and make the time for them. For openers, remember things that are going on with him and ask for details at the end of the day. Bring up things that you know he's interested in like the football draft or get his opinion on some bizarre story in the news today.
Take the time and watch for those opportunities to have great conversations with your man.
The warm fuzzy feeling you get from a great conversation is just one sign of connecting on a deeper level, and one step closer to getting a commitment from him.