If you are looking for a serious, committed relationship, your dependence on the relationship may be blocking the
commitment from taking place.
When you meet the man that you feel is the one and things are progressing nicely up until a point, could it be your dependence on the relationship and your man that is preventing things from going to a more committed level? In other words, do you live for your man, his needs and above all things, being in the relationship?
If you feel like you can't make a move without your man, you may have become far too dependent on him. If you never see your friends or never do things you used to enjoy doing,
then maybe you've grown too dependent on the relationship. Not that you should go out after work every night or go on trips every weekend with your friends, but there should be a nice mix of independence and commitment to your mate.
Let me tell you that most men really don't like it when women can't seem to make a move or decision without them. Most guys like it when their ladies maintain their own self-identity,
unless he’s completely possessive and jealous, which you don’t need in a relationship anyway.
You know you may be too dependent on the relationship if your fella is always encouraging you to go out and do things with your friends.
You may be too dependent on the relationship if you start to completely freak out if your guy doesn't immediately call or text your back.
If you start to panic when things seem different, or he seems distant, you may be too dependent on your guy.
If you do nothing but talk about you and your man, dwell on your issues or arguments, and just seem to be consumed with your relationship, it may be time to step back.
If you are hurt when your guy wants to do something with his friends or doesn't include you in everything, it's a sign of dependence.
If your guy starts talking about "slowing things down," or "taking a break," and you have a complete meltdown, you are probably too dependent on him.
If your mood is dependent on if you two are getting along or not, you guessed it, it's a sign of dependence.
It is so important that you keep doing things you like to do and keep in touch with your girlfriends. Don’t be afraid to go out and have fun for yourself.
It's not a good idea to revolve your life so completely around someone else because if the relationship ends, you will be devastated or bitter, lose your self-confidence and/or be consumed with the thought of getting that guy back no matter what. This is when you may do or say things you will ultimately regret and in some cases, drive him away even more.
A committed relationship is based on a connection on several levels. It is based on mutual
respect, trust and a genuine love for the other person. Respect, trust and love cannot grow in a dependent relationship because if things are not going just the way you want them to, or your man isn't doing what you want him to be doing, you will constantly be upset and trying to control the situation.
On the other hand, if you have independence, the chance of getting that deep commitment from your man is far more possible.
He knows that you are quite happy doing your own thing. He realizes that you have your own interests and needs. He understands that you don't need him to provide constant attention or reassurance in order for you to get through the day.
A nice balance of keeping your own interests makes you way more appealing to him. He should come to understand that even if the relationship falls apart, you won't, because you
are strong, confident and independent.
Not that you don't need him because in certain ways you do. But just not to the point where all you focus on is him and your relationship.
Remember the differences between dependence and commitment. Check to see if you can become more independent and self-sufficient in certain areas, while remaining faithfully committed to your man.