heart. Most all couples, at one point or another during their time together, may have experience periods of insecurity.
It can start out innocently enough.
Maybe you notice that your guy is becoming awfully chummy with the new girl at work. Perhaps he's been going out with his friends a little more than usual. He could decide to try a new look, change his hairstyle or suddenly be into some new hobby out of nowhere.
The thing is that life is always changing and that means people change, too. But once in a while, you may just get a nagging feeling that is trying to tell you there is more to it than just growing or changing over time.
You don't want to be completely naive and ignorant about things going on around you, but you don't want to over-react and start accusing your man of cheating or doing something wrong, either.
There are telltale signs of cheating, if you watch for them, but if your imagination gets the better of you, you may be reading a lot more into the situation than is there. Sometimes it can be a very fine line and it's more or less a judgment call until you have solid evidence that something more serious is going on.
Some men tend to flirt a little more than others and maybe that's just his personality.
Haven't you ever encountered an old married couple where the man is winking, telling jokes and flirting while his wife of 50 years is standing right next to him? For some, it's just who they are. They are friendly and enjoy talking to pretty girls. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, unless it becomes more than talking and innocent joking around.
It's far better to sit back and observe. The longer you are in a relationship, the more intimately you know each other.
If he just starts doing things that are completely out of character, or suddenly starts hanging around with a mixed group instead of just his buddies, then you might want to pay a little closer attention. By saying this, I don't mean hire a detective to follow him or check his
phone, go through his wallet, etc. Just pay more attention to the signals he's putting out.
How is your relationship otherwise? Are you getting along? Does he seem distant? Is he acting weird like he doesn't want to spend time with you? Does he get irritated with you when you try to talk to him? Has he ever given you a reason not to trust him?
When your man starts pulling away or becoming distant, it doesn't necessary mean that there's another woman or trouble brewing. You need to remain positive and calm.
The last thing you want to do is accuse him of anything or confront him with what you think is evidence. He'll only be convinced that you’re completely insecure.
The problem is that once you do start feeling insecure, it's like anything he does is confirming your worst fears. Maybe that he met someone else, is already seeing someone else, is no longer interested in you or wants to end the relationship.
Remember that if this is happening, the only thing you can do is keep your eyes and ears open. Let him know that you are there to talk if he wants to, and try to let it go. It is possible to blow things out of proportion if you are thinking the worst case scenario is about to unfold.
Take a deep breath and try to look at things objectively. Why are you feeling insecure? What are you afraid of? What is he doing to make you feel insecure? When you can calmly and objectively ask yourself some questions to try to get to the bottom of your feelings, you may realize that it’s more of an issue with you than something he’s doing.
No one can make you feel insecure without your permission. Maybe you have met this new chick at work and she’s gorgeous, so you are feeling insecure about your looks. There are a million reasons for feeling insecure, and they are usually tied in to the feelings we have about ourselves. I’m too heavy, too old, my hair is too curly and the list goes on and on.
Focus on your strengths. Focus on what makes you feel beautiful. That nagging little voice inside our head can sometimes give us far too many reasons to be insecure with ourselves. Everybody has experienced feelings of insecurity and believe me, the situation will work itself out.
If you can overcome these doubts and issues about feeling insecure in a relationship, especially if your man isn’t big on compliments, the confidence you have will shine through any situation.
How can he not love you for that?