Are you making a mistake by waiting for him? It is not a clear, cut and dried question because odds are, you’ve already invested a lot of blood, sweat and tears into the
If you’re wondering if you are just wasting your time, start by doing some serious soul-searching and asking yourself some tough questions.
If you have been in an exclusive relationship for a long period of time, even years in some cases, and there is no indication that things are progressing to a deeper level of commitment, it might be time to figure out whether or not the relationship is worth waiting
There are signs that things may move to the next level like if your guy talks about his future and indicates that you are in it. That is a good sign, but if that's the case, then why don't you have a ring on your finger? What is it that he needs or is waiting for?
Since there is no set amount of time for him to propose, you begin to wonder how long is too long? What is the cut-off date? How long should you be expected to wait?
At some point, these thoughts will cross your mind, especially if you are tired of things the way they are and really ready to get married.
Have you ever talked about the future? About starting a family? About the dream house you'd like to share one day? It can sure be disheartening when you try to delicately bring up these subjects and you are met with stone cold silence or some other kind of bewildered
The last thing you want to do is to make excuses for him or believe on some level that "he doesn't mean it" when he says he's not interested in getting married, or just doesn’t take you seriously when you hint around that you’d like to get married.
It is usually fear that keeps us stuck in habits and places. There is a fear that you've invested so much of your time in this relationship and are afraid to start all over from
scratch. Then the what-if's set in. What if you can’t meet anyone? What if you’re too old to have children if and when you do meet someone? What if you leave and then he decides to get married, but finds someone else? What if he just really doesn’t love you?
This fear is what can keep us from really looking at the current state of the relationship and where it is going in the future.
Now there are things you can do to make him commit without making or forcing him to do anything he doesn't want to do. It's all about your mindset, attitude and actions that will make the difference. Also, having the ability to pick up on what he's really saying, or discovering the pieces of the puzzle that are missing can make understanding this process
Have you ever met a guy who made it very clear that he wanted to get married and start a family? These guys have a mission to accomplish. They are ready, willing and able to settle down immediately if not sooner, and simply need to meet the woman they believe is the one.
My husband was one of those guys. Obviously, I felt a very strong connection to him and just loved spending time with him. He kept asking me to marry him and I would just laugh, thinking that he was kidding, because we had been dating for less than a year. Finally, he asked me again and when I laughed, he made sure I understood that he was serious.
To be honest, I really didn't know what to say because it was way too easy. I didn't do anything. I hadn't even been thinking about marriage (for a change). Why was he so determined to get married? How could this be right? Wasn't it supposed to be much harder than that?
That is the difference. When he decides he's ready and you are the one, it will all
naturally fall into place without you having to “make” him do anything.
But if he doesn't feel it, or something is going on with you that makes him unsure about a deeper commitment, is the time when you have to take a look at the relationship and decide what you want. Is there untapped potential that is worth waiting for?
If you don't pick up on his signals or "get" what the hold-up is, then you can expect to
spend a lot more time waiting for him, and becoming increasingly fearful and discouraged.
If you feel like you might be making a mistake by waiting for him, start by trying to take your fears out of it for a minute. Decide what it is that you want and then pay attention to what he's really saying or doing so you can better direct your future. A future complete with a
deep, loving commitment from your man.