One of the last things any woman wants to hear from her man is that he wants to "take a break" from the relationship.  The question here has got to be is he really taking a break or ending the relationship?"

Sometimes this news comes as a complete surprise and sometimes you may have had a feeling that something like this was coming. Either way, once your man drops the bombshell, and after the initial shock wears off, your mind is swimming with a lot of questions.  

At the time, you may have just not known what to say.  There may have been some tears.  Maybe you got angry and "let him have it," because you became defensive and felt the need to stick up for yourself.  Hopefully, you didn't call him every name in the book; tell him he's making the biggest mistake of his life or other things to that effect.  

The problem with getting angry, crying a lot or begging him to reconsider are exactly the things you shouldn't do in this scenario.  Granted, you may have had a knee jerk reaction in the heat of the moment and responded without thinking.  

Even if your man's intention is to just tell you he wants to slow down and take a break from the relationship, this may indicate that it is just a few steps away from ending for good.  

Howyou handle this situation will depend on whether or not he really does end the relationship for good.  

If your man tells you he wants to take a break, feel free to ask why, but the less you say, the better.  I know it's hard to hold back your thoughts and feelings, especially if you didn't see it coming.  But, the only thing you can do is agree that it might be a good idea (think Kate
Middleton and Prince William), even if you don't feel the same way.  

If you had an emotional reaction to the news, try to regain your composure before the end of the conversation.  You should try to leave things on good terms, especially if you don't really want the relationship to end.  Let him know that despite your emotions, you reacted out of
surprise.  Also let him know that he's right, taking a break might not be a bad idea.  

No matter what, do not write him a letter, text or call him, "accidentally" bump into him at the club you know he goes to, or go out of your way to make any contact with him at all.  If things ended badly, let it go.

Even though it might take time, and a lot more time than you may want it to, the goal is for him to contact you, not the other way around.

Why would he feel the need to take a break from the relationship at all?  Well, he might really not be ready to make a commitment to you (or anyone else) and is possibly unsure of his feelings for you.  Maybe he's feeling boxed in or pressured, especially if things in the relationship aren't going the way he had envisioned.  

There are all kinds of reasons why your guy might appear distant or that he's lost interest in you (see COMMITMENT PHOBIC MEN) and until he decides to contact you and rebuild the relationship, the worst thing you can do is to try to force the issue.  

Is he really taking a break or ending the relationship?  Either way, the best way to handle the situation is to use smart strategies that will naturally bring him back into your life and this time, he'll be ready and willing to begin an exclusive, even committed, relationship with you.
If you have been in a relationship for a while, you may have noticed that conversations between the two of you have become strained, predictable and, well, boring.  

Wouldn't it be great to recapture that time when you just loved to talk with each other?  The time when both of you were genuinely interested in what the other had to say, and how cool it was to learn more about each other.  

If you are missing the days of “talking the way we used to,” when everything was easy, comfortable and enjoyable, know that it is possible to recapture those great conversations.

What was different when your relationship was new versus where it is now?  It was probably easier to make conversation because the two of you were still learning so many new things about each other.  

After a while, we all tend to get lazy and take things for granted, right?  Until one day, you
wake up and really miss the way things used to be.  When you are in a relationship for a while, the newness of the relationship wears off and since you think you know everything about each other, conversation becomes stale and dull.  The effort and enthusiasm of making conversation really takes a back seat. 

Keep in mind that having someone to talk to is a basic emotional human desire.  Being able to share your thoughts, dreams and just knowing that someone cares enough about you to
actually listen to something you say feels good.  It makes us feel important.  

The key to getting back to that time when your conversations were meaningful and even fun requires some work.  First of all, you have to make the time to talk to each other.  Make the time to really have a great chat without arguing or pointing out any faults in the other person.  

One great way to spark an interesting conversation is to ask about something from your man's past.  An example would be something like what his favorite subject was in school, or the best birthday gift he ever got.  You can bring up something that may remind him of something really cool from his younger days, and at the same time, you'll be learning something new about him.  

Even if you think you know absolutely everything about each other, there are questions you can ask that will always reveal something you didn't know.  Another added bonus to this type of conversation is that while your guy is telling you his story, you can get great ideas for future birthday or anniversary gifts. If you pick up clues about things he’s really passionate about, you can surprise him with some really thoughtful gifts down the road.  He’ll notice.

The ability to have frequent and productive conversations with each other is vital to long-term success in any relationship. Think about it.  You wouldn't be together at all if you didn't talk to each other!  

Don’t be fooled into thinking that meaningful conversations aren't important to continue no matter how long you've been together.  If you can put yourself back into that mindset you had when you first got together, you'll probably find this process a lot easier and a lot more fun.  

You might think that talking is more of a concern of women than men.  This really isn’t the
case.  Even if your guy is not much of a talker, then it’s really important for you to tune in when he does attempt to open up to you.  

Make sure you aren't goggling something on the internet or watching TV (or vice versa) when you are working on re-connecting or staying emotionally connected through conversation.  Don’t just keep saying, “Uh huh,” repeatedly like you’re listening when you’re really not.

Lose the distractions and give him your complete focus and attention.  Let him talk without
interruption.  Let him know he can trust you with whatever it is he tells you without being made to feel stupid or that his take on things is wrong because it isn't what you think. 
Just let the conversation flow and keep an open mind.  

Talking to each other is so very important in order to keep connected and grow closer.  Working on “talking the way we used to” will keep you close and bring back those great
feelings you used to get when you first got together.  

There are so many things that keep us all so busy during each and every day.  It's easy to say you'll talk "tomorrow" or when your schedule calms down or whatever else you're putting ahead of your relationship.  You don't want to be obsessive or forcing your man to talk when he's just not into it, but when the opportunity presents itself, jump on it.  

Make it a priority to learn something new about him every week.  In this way, your
conversations will stop being boring and can be interesting once again. Plus, you’ll be strengthening that all-important emotional bond with each other, which is one of the basic
requirements needed for a healthy, committed relationship.

If you are guilty of chasing after your man, consider the reasons why it's a bad idea.  In
fact, it might be the worst mistake you could make in your relationship.

You may be under the impression that unless you take serious action, he will never get the hint that you want to be in a relationship with him.  It may be that you're tired of waiting for him to make a serious move towards a commitment, so you feel the need to take the bull by the horns, so to speak.  

The first reason why it's a bad idea to chase after your man is that it compromises your position of being equal in the relationship.  

If you are doing the chasing, constant calling, most of the talking, going along with just about all of his ideas and going well out of your way to do anything and everything for him, you are seriously diminishing your role as an equal partner.  

He begins to look at you and in most cases, treat you differently, because you are allowing and even encouraging him to do it. By changing your plans at the last minute to do what he wants to do and always being available at the drop of a dime, you are just making things too easy.  

When you set your sights on your man and chase after him relentlessly to force a relationship, the message you are sending is one of insecurity and that your feelings run much deeper than his feelings for you.  You are wearing your heart on your sleeve, and it’s very obvious to him.

This leads to the second and probably most important reason why it's a bad idea to chase after your man.  He knows that he doesn't have to try very hard to be with you. He knows that all he needs to do is give you a call and you'll come running.  He knows that no matter how badly he treats you, you will go along with the behavior just because you're so crazy for him.  

You decide that no matter what, you're going to get him, no matter how high the price. 
Usually, the high price comes in the form of your self-esteem, confidence and happiness.  

Don't be fooled into believing that if you chase him long enough, you'll eventually get him and life with him will be wonderful. 

In most cases, quite the opposite is true. If you are chasing your guy, he knows that you're crazy about him and he doesn't need to put in much effort at all into having a relationship with you - period.  You want him so much that you'll put up with just about anything from him. You make excuses for his behavior and try to justify things to make them right in your head.  

But in reality, if you are totally honest with yourself, are you truly happy with how he treats you?  Do you like the fact that you are putting almost all of the work and effort into the relationship with very little from him in return?  

Even if you do end up in a committed relationship or even get married one day, do you think he'll treat you any better as the years go by?  

Like most women who chase after their men, they eventually grow tired of doing all the work and making all the effort.  It gets old very quickly to try to be in a relationship all by yourself.  It's impossible.  You may grow tired of trying so hard, and burned out by all the constant work that's involved.  You may fear that if you stop doing all the work and giving, he’ll decide
to end the relationship.  You may grow resentful and angry.  You'll definitely fall out of love with the man you chased and worked so hard to get. It's a very empty "win."

If you meet a man you're interested in, go ahead and flirt with him.  Drop some subtle clues that you're interested.  If there’s potential for something to develop, let him take the lead. 
If you allow him to chase you, you'll see a night and day difference in the relationship, how he feels about and treats you.  

If you have broken up with someone that you just know you should be spending the rest of your life with, let him come to the same realization and do what it takes to win you back. 
There are things you can do to help the process along, but believe me when I tell you that the last thing you want to do is chase after a man, especially one you deeply love.  

When it's his idea to come after you and has to figure out how to win you back or win your love to begin with, that is the best position you can be in.  On these terms, you will have his respect, attention and the assurance that it is him who really wants to be with you.  This will
result in a big difference in your relationship both now and down the road.

Focus your attention on strategies other than chasing your man and you will discover what a difference it is to be with a man who is more interested in chasing and committing to a relationship with you.