Sometimes this news comes as a complete surprise and sometimes you may have had a feeling that something like this was coming. Either way, once your man drops the bombshell, and after the initial shock wears off, your mind is swimming with a lot of questions.
At the time, you may have just not known what to say. There may have been some tears. Maybe you got angry and "let him have it," because you became defensive and felt the need to stick up for yourself. Hopefully, you didn't call him every name in the book; tell him he's making the biggest mistake of his life or other things to that effect.
The problem with getting angry, crying a lot or begging him to reconsider are exactly the things you shouldn't do in this scenario. Granted, you may have had a knee jerk reaction in the heat of the moment and responded without thinking.
Even if your man's intention is to just tell you he wants to slow down and take a break from the relationship, this may indicate that it is just a few steps away from ending for good.
Howyou handle this situation will depend on whether or not he really does end the relationship for good.
If your man tells you he wants to take a break, feel free to ask why, but the less you say, the better. I know it's hard to hold back your thoughts and feelings, especially if you didn't see it coming. But, the only thing you can do is agree that it might be a good idea (think Kate
Middleton and Prince William), even if you don't feel the same way.
If you had an emotional reaction to the news, try to regain your composure before the end of the conversation. You should try to leave things on good terms, especially if you don't really want the relationship to end. Let him know that despite your emotions, you reacted out of
surprise. Also let him know that he's right, taking a break might not be a bad idea.
No matter what, do not write him a letter, text or call him, "accidentally" bump into him at the club you know he goes to, or go out of your way to make any contact with him at all. If things ended badly, let it go.
Even though it might take time, and a lot more time than you may want it to, the goal is for him to contact you, not the other way around.
Why would he feel the need to take a break from the relationship at all? Well, he might really not be ready to make a commitment to you (or anyone else) and is possibly unsure of his feelings for you. Maybe he's feeling boxed in or pressured, especially if things in the relationship aren't going the way he had envisioned.
There are all kinds of reasons why your guy might appear distant or that he's lost interest in you (see COMMITMENT PHOBIC MEN) and until he decides to contact you and rebuild the relationship, the worst thing you can do is to try to force the issue.
Is he really taking a break or ending the relationship? Either way, the best way to handle the situation is to use smart strategies that will naturally bring him back into your life and this time, he'll be ready and willing to begin an exclusive, even committed, relationship with you.