There are times in all relationships when you begin to wonder if he has lost interest.  You just feel it, without really being able to put your finger on what the problem is.  

No matter what you try to do or say, he just doesn't seem
interested anymore.  He might even not answer your calls or texts for a long while, and you begin to wonder where he is and what he is up to.  

Has he met someone else?  

Doesn't he want to spend time with me anymore?  

Did I do something wrong?  

These are common questions and fears at some point in almost every relationship.  

The thing is, how do you overcome the problem without making yourself crazy, or letting your imagination take you to places you'd rather not go?  How can you feel calm and peaceful, even when you can feel that something is really wrong?

Call it woman’s intuition if you want to, but you can feel the sense of distance between you a mile away.  The more you try to ignore it or fix it as best as you know how, the worse it gets.  Something inside you is telling you loud and clear that there is something wrong. 

Maybe you try to bring it up to your man, but he will usually make you feel like your imagining things or being too sensitive.  This is a “deflect attention away,” shift the blame tactic.  He might offer excuses such as he's just tired or his mind is on a problem at work.   

How do you get him to tell you what's really wrong?  How can you reconnect and enjoy the intimacy and closeness you once shared?

Getting angry, defensive or making accusations are not the way to go.  If you do those things, it will only make him withdraw further and at a much faster pace. 

I understand how hard it is to stand by and feel like you're not doing anything, but this is the time to try to let it go and relax.  After all, whatever the issue is, it will come to light in its own

If he doesn't want to talk about it, or maybe doesn't even understand what the problem is, there is nothing you can do to force the issue.  

If you rule your reaction or course of action by fear, desperation, neediness or anger, I guarantee you will regret it and suffer the consequences you fear most.  

Ask yourself what you are afraid of.  What is the worst case scenario?  

More than likely, it is the fear that he no longer cares for you or has possibly met someone else.  Your fight or flight instincts kick in because you strongly sense the possibility that you are about to get hurt.  

Let me remind you that no amount of begging, crying, threatening, stalking or arguing will make him love you more.  In fact, all of those things will help him fall out of love with you in a

You cannot make anyone love you.  You cannot make or force anyone to be with you.  You cannot force anyone to remain in a relationship if their heart is not into it.  

The best course of action when you feel distance developing between you, or he starts acting differently, is to relax.  

Bring it up to him gently, just by casually mentioning that he seems distracted lately.  Ask him if he wants to talk, or if there's anything you can do to make things better.  After that, let it go.  

Do not keep bringing it up.  Do not keep badgering him to tell you what's going on. When and if he wants to talk, when he's ready, he will come to you and talk.  In the meantime, be supportive and upbeat.  

If your worst fears are realized and he tells you he wants to break up or decides he needs his space, take heart.  

By letting him go, you have a very good chance at winning him back.  If he thinks the grass is greener on the other side, let him find out for himself that it usually is not that way at all.  

By taking the high road and letting him know you are disappointed but agree that it's probably for the best, you may take him completely off guard.  Believe me, if you take the news like someone who is strong and confident, he will remember - just from that moment - what an incredible woman you are.  

More than likely, he will think of you a lot more than you realize, and by keeping yourself busy, going out with friends, and letting him see that your life can go on without him and be happy and fulfilling, he may just realize you are worth more than a second look.  How awesome would that make you feel?  

So if you are wondering has he lost interest or something else is going on, remember that things are not always as they appear.  Feeling distance or going through an actual break in the relationship doesn't have to mean that it's over forever.  It might even make it better than before.


Some things just go together like salt and pepper, peanut butter and jelly, peas and carrots, men and commitment. 

Wait a second.  What was that last item?  

Why was men and commitment included in a list of things that almost naturally go together?

If you find yourself struggling with getting your man to commit, instead of having it go together like bread and butter, you should know that it doesn't have to be such a struggle.

Do you feel like you have been wasting too much time in a relationship that doesn't seem to be moving forward or going anywhere?  

Instead of struggling through this, or having plenty of arguments or not really knowing what the problem is, why not look into the possibility that he’s sending you signals that you are not picking up on.  

It could be that he just cannot feel an intimate connection to you.  It is quite possible that
there is something that is making him hesitate when thinking about making a commitment in your relationship.

Unless you’re willing to do a little research and try to learn what the issues are, your relationship could go on like this indefinitely.  Are you in a position to wait indefinitely until you get a commitment from your man? 

Unless you are completely satisfied with a relationship like that, maybe there are ways you could communicate with him better and help him to understand, without a shadow of a doubt, that you are the one.

You should know that if your man is having trouble with a commitment, it probably has more to do with something inside his head, his heart and his gut (or maybe all three) that is causing him to be very unsure and therefore, hesitate in making a serious commitment to the

Granted, if you tend to nag, criticize or treat him badly, these are obvious reasons for really cold feet.  But if you are in a decent relationship that just doesn't seem to be moving forward, you begin to wonder what the problem is, and what, if anything you can do to set the wheels in forward motion.

The secret to getting your man serious enough to commit to you is reaching him in his head, heart and right down deep in the gut. If you can accomplish this, you will get him to commit without any struggle whatsoever.

The problem with your relationship may be nothing more than him questioning if he feels totally secure with you for the rest of his life.  

How can you reassure him that you are the one? 

The biggest way for you to do this is to really recognize and pick up on the clues he may not be able to tell you. Perhaps he doesn't even know what the issue is since he really does love you.  

He just needs to know it deep down inside before he can take more serious strides to give a commitment.  You can help him know it.

Stop wasting your time trying to figure out what the problems are and guessing at what he’s really thinking.  Instead, start doing your research as to what clues and signals he’s giving you that you are not picking up on.  Learn to communicate more clearly and effectively. 

By all means, take serious steps to end that men and commitment struggle.


There can be one or many reasons why men pull away from you and your relationship. 

Unless you have done something hurtful to your man, the reasons are his own and may have more to do with beliefs he has about a committed relationship rather than you

He may not even be able to identify exactly what the problem is but just feels that something
doesn't feel right and that makes him want to slow down and maybe even take a break from the relationship. 

The last thing you want to do in the event that your man seems distant or takes more obvious steps back from the relationship is to push or pressure him. By constantly prodding him to give you a reason as to what the problem is, the more he will tend to withdraw or just want to take a break from the relationship altogether.  

If you try to just push through it and tell him to get over it and get things back to the way they were, you're really tempting fate.  This is not the time to make matters worse by insisting to talk all the time, asking a million questions, bringing up a commitment, becoming needy,   etc. 

There may be many reasons for the distance you begin to feel between the two of you and there can be various reasons for this.  

The reasons why men pull away can usually be found under some of the points listed below:

=  Loss of control and freedom
=  Unable to trust and let down their guard
=  Taken advantage of or hurt badly in the past
=  Less sex
=  Afraid of making a lifetime commitment
=  Afraid of losing possessions, money
=  Loss of freedom and having fun
=  Not being able to go out with his buddies

There are surely more reasons than these and some are more personal and specific to the person.  

Sometimes your man may not be able to exactly pinpoint what the problem is, but by putting the pressure on him to commit, get closer or spend more time together will only make him pull away farther and faster.

The best thing to do is give him time and space. 

He needs the time to think about what the problems are, and why he is slamming the brakes on your relationship. If he is attracted to you and even feels like he loves you, even he may not understand what it is that is telling him to be careful, use caution and slow down.  

He could be pulling away to avoid being hurt in some way. Unfortunately, we all tend to bring along baggage from past relationships to the new one, whether you realize it or not.  

Maybe something your new love says or does reminds you of a past partner and all of a sudden, some walls go up to avoid experiencing pain.  It's your natural defense system that kicks in to warn and get you away from a painful experience.

Try not to dwell on it too much because it is really his issue and not all about you.  Let him
know that although you're not sure what's going on, you are there for him and to talk if and when he's ready. 

Then drop it.  Do not cling to him, make him feel bad or guilty for feeling what he's feeling or get angry and start making threats or say things out of frustration or anger that you will surely
regret later on. 

Give him the time he needs and time will tell if the relationship can be restored, or even move to the next level.